Tuesday, February 26, 2008

You be the judge

Fourth round of a Scrabble tournament.

Both players have seven tiles on their rack in the final stages of the game. They check the bag and agree their is one tile left. One player puts down his word and takes the last tile. The next player goes and the first player, puts down his last four tiles and is out. He wins the game by seven points plus the tiles on his opponents rack. They finalize the score sheets and hand it in for inputting in the computer. As they are about clean up the board, the losing player says "Hey! There's another tile in here!" He calls over the judge and the judge says, the game goes on, the winning player has to take the last tile. The score sheet is returned and the game goes on. The last tile was a u and there's no place for it. The losing player now goes out and he wins by the last tile on his opponents rack, the u. Did the judge make the right call? Or was the handing in of the score sheet the end of the game?

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Not so random thoughts

1. Live Scrabble is totally rigged.

2. Why do they call seven letter words, bingoes instead of Scrabbles? Okay, that one is more of a not so random question.

3. I think they should have bag cams, so players can later see what tiles they grabbed and dropped. That'll totally tilt them.


I don't know if you've ever been beaten at anything by 300 points, but let me tell you what it feels like. Um...have you ever had a fist shoved down your throat and your appendix removed? Sans anesthesia? Yeah something like. And okay, everything went his way, but I played horrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrribly and let him run up the score on me something god awful. Oh my God. My whole body hurts. He tripled tripled, with unposted through an s he left hanging from his previous bingo, because I decided to exchange one letter to complete my satine rack rather than block the triple line. I played jam with the m hanging off the triple instead of jee cause I wanted 13 more points and he bingoed on that triple line with resting. Then he would have been stuck with the q, but I wasn't tracking, was down by 200 and didn't give a shit, so I played kins on the triple line and he played qats on the triple for another 48 points. Suddenly, I missed the days when I was down by 200 points. I'm 8-2, but this game wiped out my spread and unless I can run up the score on my next three or four opponents, this game likely cost me the tournament.
And deservedly so.
And the worst part! THE WORST PART! The guy's name is MARWAN!! Where's Jack Bauer when I need him.

Groan/ What the Fuck

So, I get back from my horrendous loss to find that my next match is with...MARWAN. AGAIN.

I explain to the tournament director that this must be some kind of terrible mistake. But no.

8-3. Back to back losses to fricking Marwan. At least I kept my deficit to two digits this time. A high two digits. Hmm..I'm just going to go ahead and call this one ball of loss. 8-2.

8-4. Finding new and even more idiotic ways to lose.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Live blogging Saratoga

I'm playing in my first multi-day Scrabble tournament. I played in the early bird yesterday and got brutally crushed in only two games, so I feel pretty well matched to the competition. I ended up with an abysmal 2-5 record, but still had a positive spread. I should have been 3-4, but I am an idiot.
In what should have been the final play of the game, I realize that my opponent is stuck with the q. She has only one place to play qi, which she has on her rack. I can block it by closing off the line under axe. I decide: 'Yes, I am a genius!' I close that she can't go out and I win. I am doing a jig in my head. I have truerls on my rack. I can't play the s, cause she will just put down qi for qis. So, of course, GENIUS that I am I play the r. HA! That'll show her. She challenges axer instantly.
It's no good.
She plays Qi.
I throw an epic tantrum. (Which in Scrabble is basically, just throwing tiles down anywhere, no longer keeping score and then walking away from the table without helping to clean up.)
If I wasn't such a bitch, I'd be ashamed of myself.
Anyway, this morning, I won my first match. I bingoed twice...stalked and relation...though I hung the n off the triple line and she punished me with a sixty point play of zany. Pretty much wiping out my bingo. I wonder if pows was good...which is how I hung stalked.
I play the lady I threw the tantrum against yesterday next...

Whew. Beat her pretty handily. Bingoed on triple line with entasia...couldn't for the life of me remember the other bingoes in that rack...for shame. Must brush up on satine rack study. I was super nice to her and an excellent scrabble citizen. I'm sure yesterday's unpleasantness was forgotten. In a disturbing note, I lost ratings points after yesterday's early bird tournament. NG. My friend Adam has been I told you soing me all day. Arrgh.

Not so random thought...I will not pay $100 for a new Scrabble board. I will not pay $100 for a new Scrabble board. I will not pay $100 for a new Scrabble board. I will not pay $100 for a new Scrabble board. I will not pay $100 for a new Scrabble board. I will not pay $100 for a new Scrabble board. I will not pay $100 for a new Scrabble board. I will not pay $100 for a new Scrabble board. I will not pay $100 for a new Scrabble board.I will not pay $100 for a new Scrabble board.I will not pay $100 for a new Scrabble board.

Even though the one I have is cracked and doesn't spin and fills me with shame.


I'm drawing well, but playing even better. I made one glaring mistake. PLayed a K, for Kir and Ki, leaving the only too hookable ki just sitting there, even though I knew my opponent had the blank. I've done this before and it has cost me games, you'd think I'd learn. Well, I think I finally have. In my last game I almost played kis and then I remembered. Then I almost played yes and realized that could be turned into eyes! Whew.
I am playing very strategically. My third game was against this girl that can only be described as punk kid! Mostly because that is what I will describe her as now. So, this punk kid is all playing fast and I'm all...girlie, I invented playing fast. She eventually got so frazzled, that she started taking like five minutes a turn. Her clock was down to three minutes with half the tiles left. And then I just screwed her. I kept exchanging one or two tiles, the board was fairly closed, so she'd have to take another three minutes looking for a play and then she'd score two, maybe eight. I'd play off her turn and then repeat. In the end, she lost 100 points on time alone. When the bag was finally empty, I went out and she was left with a j and a w on her rack, so I got crazy points from that too.
The game I just played was against this guy. I thought he looked mean, so I wanted to crush him. I drew HPMCATN as my first draw and he was going first, so I was a sad panda. Until he said "exchange three!" And then I so happily played champ. I then drew a blank, s, e, d and an i. I knew there were a billion bingoes there, so I kept playing with the tiles until I found density for a double double off champs. Woo hoo. He bingoed back with ruinate the next turn, but I handily outplayed him the rest of the game. Though at one point he totally cheated, but I didn't say anything. Though I don't know why. Anyway, I beat him by 125 points and I'm third in my division right now. The two women who crushed me yesterday are first and second and I play them this afternoon. I just gotta pray for super mega fantastic tiles against them and places to score big.

OMG, those two women both lost their last game...I'm in first place after the half. I'm going to throw up.

Good gravy, still undefeated. 5-0. My first opponent just came up to me to say 1) I was her only loss and 2) She knows I played a phony on her. D'oh.

I play one of the women who trounced me yesterday next...so I'm expecting the first loss of the day.

Sigh. 5-1. Drew bad, played okay. She drew okay and played well. Result, first loss of the day. Stupid ilex.


I am 7-1 with a spread of +463. I am atop the leaderboard. ATOP. THE. LEADERBOARD.

Everyone is talking about me because they don't know who the fuck I am.

My last opponent yelled at me and told me to "chill out." Did I mention I play a little fast?

My opponent before that said he can read my face like a children's book. He is probably the most defensive player I have ever met in my life. I played, brrr in that game. I've always wanted to play brrr. And tsktsks...someday. I beat him by 21 points and he made us recalculate every play for the whole game. Turns out I beat him by 23 points. That was vindicating.

We break till tomorrow...ahem...what's that in my throat?

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Not that you could tell...

But I have been playing a veritable crapload of Scrabble. These days I'm usually out in some diner or coffeehouse with the Scrabble crew playing mini tournaments or at weekly Scrabble club playing the regular tournament. I'm even playing the most Scrabulous on facebook that I've played since my last operation recovery. It's all Scrabble all the time. Unfortunately, the last time I studied was the SOWPODS twos and threes in Australia, which means 1) I'm not really learning new OWL words, besides remembering the stuff that gets played on me: paniers...WTF? So I've kind of plateaued. AND I still remember all the SOWPODS crap and I've come so close to playing SOWPODS twos...oh why is OO not an OWL word? WHY?
So basically, I am crushing the informal tournaments, I rarely lose more than two in a night (and by night, I mean all hours of the morning...I'm the youngest in the group, but I'm always the first to leave and I feel so weak shutting down at 2 or 3 in the morning, but dude, I've got to drive back to Brooklyn!) there are two players that I have never beaten...though I've come close to beating the one of them. However, at the club I reverted back to my horrendous 1-3 records. Until tonight! I triumphantly returned to .500 status with a crushing 474 vs. 299 game against John Lithgow's ex:


In her defense, I did draw all four esses and both blanks. But in my defense, man did I use them! Failure was my proudest find...it's hard finding a place for a bingo with no ess...and yet I managed it. And come on Failure? With a blank? Who sees that? Me. That's who!

Though embarrassing moment of the night was opening up a triple line and getting bingoed on with both blanks...he claims the play was worth 103 points...I didn't say anything because I was too in shock, but I think he screwed me.
Me played Dank. Moron.